Why It’s Good To Be A Woman

As if it weren’t obvious enough, right? Ha. Ha.

*We got off the Titanic first.

*We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

*Taxis stop for us.

*We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

*No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.

*We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

*If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

*We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.

*We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

*We have the ability to dress ourselves.

*We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

*If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.

*We will never regret piercing our ears.

*There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

*We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren’t listening anyway.

“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.” — Erica Jong

“Men are like a deck of cards. You’ll find the occasional king, but most are jacks.” — Laura Swenson

“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.” — Zsa Zsa Gabor

Quotes found at English Teachers Network

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