And he always will be. Until he meets and marries me, that is. “I love warm weather and summertime…What better way to enjoy it than at the beach, where few people wear shirts?” Um, how about enjoying it in my backyard totally naked. That works for me. The super yummy star and all his shirtless glory is beautifully displayed on this week’s People Magazine: I just had these ones lying around on my computer… A bachelor is a man...  Read More »

I don’t know about you, but I woke up this morning wondering what Paris Hilton was up to. Around 11:00 p.m. last night, she was transferred from the medical ward back to the all-women’s jail she started her sentence in over a week ago. Hilton, who was being treated for an unspecified medical condition at the Twin Towers jail medical center, was moved to the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, Calif., at about 11 p.m. last night, department...  Read More »

I had a totally weird dream last night… It was a few years into the future, but I’m not sure how many. Britney Spears made her comeback and was actually successful at it. Her hair was shoulder length and a natural brown color. She was in shape, but not too skinny. Here’s the crazy part… While not in the public eye, Britney Spears had taken singing lessons, unbeknownst to pretty much everyone. And they were very helpful, apparently....  Read More »

Have you ever said to yourself “man, I could really use $57,000 right about now”? Well here’s your chance… Enter the Heinz Ketchup Top This TV Challenge today – you could win the money and go down in history. All you need is a video camera and a kick-ass idea. Full Details Remember this great one? Fun facts about Heinz Ketchup: The company was founded in 1869 by the German Henry John Heinz in Sharpsburg, Pennsylvania, United...  Read More »

I think this is going to be a good week. First, Paris Hilton found God, and now there’s finally some proof of the existence of Jayden James Federline. I think there’s been one or two other pictures, but this one is by far the best; we can actually see his face. Why, you may be asking, does a picture of Jayden James bring me such joy and giddiness? Well, like countess others I was dying to know what he looked like. The little guy has been under...  Read More »

Place your bets now. Here’s the latest update from the saga of our favorite Hollywood Heiress, Paris Hilton… *After throwing a fit when ordered back to jail last Friday, Paris has calmed down a bit and decided not to appeal. She will remain in jail and finish out her (original) 45 day sentence. *The mystery illness that helped release her last Thursday was apparently dehydration. Paris was refusing to eat or drink because she was afraid someone...  Read More »

“Mom! Mom!” Paris shouted, “It’s not right!” Oh, poor Paris. Your mother can’t help you now, dear heiress. You see, you did a bad bad thing, and you need to be punished. Jack and Jill Public are getting sick of you, and other celebrities, getting away with illegal things just because you’re rich and famous. Robert Downey, Jr. spent a good chunk of time in the slammer and it did him a world of good. He’s a whole...  Read More »

What the heck is going on? Did I not get the memo that ass flesh is now in vogue? Brooke Hogan likes to tell everyone how pure she is and that she’s still a virgin. Shoot, I’d say that too if Hulk Hogan was my dad. But is it really a good move to say you’re innocent and then dress like this? I realize that Britney Spears has had two children and a hard time as of late, so she’s probably let herself go a bit. However, she certainly doesn’t...  Read More »

So TMZ is reporting that Paris Hilton is out of jail, after only three days. Her original 45 day sentence was reduced to 23 days. I guess 23 days is really 3 days in Paris Hilton world. Lucky @@@@@. Full Story There will be a press conference in a little bit, so updates to follow. Paris Hilton Has Mental Problems. Well, duh! Paris Hilton was released from jail early because she’s “on the verge of a nervous breakdown.” I say, let her have...  Read More »

Here’s the latest… *Paris Hilton has removed her contacts. Did you know her eyes are actually brown? *Paris is also not wearing any makeup and apparently is getting a positive response to it from the other inmates. I wonder if she will continue this look when she gets out. *She has been visited by both her psychiatrist and her lawyer. *To pass the hours, Paris has been reading a book. The ratio of pictures to words is unknown. *On the up side, she is...  Read More »

When I was a kid, we had Earthquake drills. When my parents were children, they had air raid drills. I’ll take an Earthquake over an Air Raid any day, thank you very much. Yesterday I received in the mail some items that my parents found in a trunk that belonged to my maternal grandmother. One of the items made me laugh so hard, I knew I had to share it. AIR RAID INSTRUCTIONS FOR CIVILIANS 1. As soon as the bombs start dropping, run like Hell. It doesn’t...  Read More »

The sun is setting on Paris Hilton’s second day in jail. According to inside sources, day two was not nearly as fun as day one. Awwww, poor Paris. She isn’t eating or sleeping and her cell is “freezing.” Boo-hoo Paris! Suck it up. If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime (cheesy, but true). You will see no tears from me, Ms. Hilton. TMZ has multiple inside sources who have painted a bleak picture of day # 2 in the slammer....  Read More »

Lately I’ve noticed a lot of very unhappy young ladies in Hollywood… Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, the Olsen Twins… I used to be an unhappy young lady too. Extremely unhappy. Except I didn’t know how sad I really was. And I would venture to guess that the young ladies of Hollywood today don’t know just how sad they are either. Sure, they seem to have everything, but do they really? If their lives are so great and wonderful,...  Read More »

Paris Hilton is in jail today. Where she belongs. She spent her last night of freedom (for 3 weeks) attending the MTV Movie Awards last night. While being interviewed on the red carpet, Paris said that she was ready to serve her sentence and hoped that she would be a role model to others. She did not however, admit what she had done to deserve her jail time. Hotel heiress Paris Hilton surrendered herself to the Century Regional Detention Facility last night...  Read More »

Nikki Hilton is unclear on the definition of absurdity…A Socialite’s Life Britney Spears is still vomiting in public…Fatback And Collards Jessica Simpson is a home wrecker…The Gossip Girls Lindsay Lohan is a happy rehab patient…Celebrity Mound Paula Abdul cries on the phone…Right Celebrity Is denying his son’s autism part of John Travolta’s religion?…Hollywood Backwash Can you identify this TV show theme song?…Pondracket Absurd:...  Read More »