It’s a wet Saturday morning in my neck of the woods. Which is fine, except I have a turtle living in a kiddie pool in my backyard without a heater. Any suggestions on how I can make a better outdoor fall/winter home for my turtle without it costing an arm and a leg? Here’s a picture of the little guy back in March. He’s a little bigger now. I’m off to the Bay Area today to have lunch with my Grandma at her new apartment. She’s...  Read More »

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? The sea’s latest hero, that’s who! It was just after 7 p.m. Saturday when the crew aboard the Gloucester-based fishing vessel Clam Juice reported they were rapidly taking on water off Ten Pound Island. A Coast Guard rescue crew that arrived minutes later began pumping out the boat, but noticed a large crack in an exhaust pipe. After one of the rescuers said that he wished they had their football to plug the...  Read More »

Take a moment to think about the worse possible future you can think of. Imagine what the world and all the people will be like in hundreds of years. Think it looks pretty good? Heck, we can only go up from here, right? Think again… *Caution: contains language that some may consider “strong” or “vulgar”* It’s so scary because it’s true! Brought to you by Fun facts about Carl’s Jr: Founded in 1941 by Carl N. Karcher and owned...  Read More »

Well, it’s official – I am now a fully commissioned Notary Public for the State of California. Yay for me! In other exciting news, there’s a new perfume called “Vulva Original.” I kid you not. While the, er, hair-raising product is not a perfume for the va-jay-jay, it is an erotic fragrance made to trigger sexual attraction and desire by mimicking the tangy aroma of lady muffin! Scent of a Woman – TMZ.com Speaking of vulvas,...  Read More »

What part of ‘keep him locked up’ does the universe not understand? I mean really! OJ Simpson should not be allowed to roam the streets. Since I last posted… … Simpson made his $125,000 bail on charges including kidnapping and armed robbery, legal experts were questioning: Could a former football star who beat a double-murder rap really do hard time for a crime that sounds like a bad movie? Speaking of OJ Simpson and bad movies, remember...  Read More »

UPDATE: If you want to bail OJ Simpson out of jail today, you’ll need $125,000. TMZ.com – Just Like Old Times … O.J.’s Back in Court I don’t have that kind of money, do you? And even if I did, I certainly wouldn’t send it his way. Karma, baby! It took 13 years, but maybe now some real justice will be done! ——— Prosecutors have filed charges against OJ Simpson. Sound familiar? This time there are 10 charges...  Read More »

I’ve known one person longer than anyone – except for my family – and she sent this to me today. We had a falling out a few years back and are starting to mend the wounds. I just couldn’t resist sharing this… Friends are like butt cheeks. Crap might separate them, But they always come back together. Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold. A circle is round, it has no end. That’s how long, I...  Read More »