Fairy Tales For A Saturday.

Once upon a time a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?”

The girl said, “No!”

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank whole bottles of wine, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn’t save money and had all the hot water to herself.

She went to the theatre, never watched sports, never wore frickin’ lacy lingerie that went up her bum, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled and felt and looked fabulous all the time.

THE END

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’ The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband. The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!…the husband became 92 years old. The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female…..