Spencer Pratt Won’t Have Sex With Wife Heidi Montag

This is some of the most pleasing and smile producing news I’ve heard all day.

Spencer Pratt refuses to have sex with his wife Heidi Montag, for fear of reproduction.

Spencer told the ladies of The View that after being married a mere four months, he has cut his wife off from his man love. His reasoning is quite logical, believe it or not – he’s afraid Heidi will be one of those sneaky @@@@@es who stop taking their birth control and don’t tell the guy they’re banging.

“She [says] she is not going to tell me she is going to go off her birth control,” Pratt, 26, said on The View Thursday.

Not sleeping with her is “the only thing I can think of in my defense,” he said.

Montag, 23, insisted she isn’t intentionally forgetting to tell him.

“I would tell him the truth, but sometimes mistakes happen,” she said. “Sometimes you accidentally miss one. It happens.”

Ahh, the good ol’ Kourtney Kardashian excuse.

We’ve all known for a while now that Speidi lives in their own world, and now it seems Heidi lives in her own world within the Speidi delusion.

Heidi Montag is determined to become a “young mom,” but Spencer Pratt would rather cut off his balls.

She said he “joked” about not wanting kids before they got married, but she never took him seriously.

“I thought we would get married and then go to that hurdle —marriage and then kids at the same time,” she said.

She said “it’s only four months. We’re supposed to be in the honeymoon phase.”

I can’t even put into words how stupid Heidi Montag Pratt has yet again proven herself to be. Don’t worry, Spencer Pratt is still a douche, but he actually seems to have his head on straight for this one.

Pay attention ladies, when your boyfriend insists over and over that he doesn’t want kids…he probably doesn’t want kids; and getting married won’t change that.

Trust me.

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