Use Your Common Sense Day. No, Please, Use It.

I have a friend who has a daily holiday calendar on his desk at work; each morning I get an email with that day’s holiday in the subject line.

This morning’s subject line was: Happy Use Your Common Sense Day!

Yes,use your common sense day is a legitimate holiday.

We exchanged a few emails back and forth about the lack of common sense in today’s world, and then this afternoon he sent me this:

I stopped at Micky-deez since I was at Wal-Mart, I got my co-worker lunch ‘cus he was stuck back at the office auditing files…

42 year old female McDonald’s employee: “Hello”

Me: “Hi, may I please get a # 3 and a # 5; medium sized, to go, 2 separate bags please?”

42 year old female McDonald’s employee: “A number 3; what size?”

Me: “May I please get a # 3 and a # 5; medium sized, to go, 2 separate bags please.”

42 year old female McDonald’s employee: “So that’s a #3, medium size, would that be all sir?”

Me: “May I please get a # 3 and a # 5; medium sized, to go, 2 separate bags please?”

42 year old female McDonald’s employee: “A number 5; what size?”

Me: “May I please get a # 3 and a # 5; medium sized, to go, 2 separate bags please.”

42 year old female McDonald’s employee: “So that’s a #5, medium size, would this be for here or to go?”

Me: “So it’s a # 3 and a # 5; medium sized, to go, 2 separate bags please, would this complete my order ma’am?”

42 year old female McDonald’s employee: “Thank you sir, your order is number 1265.”

Older & bigger female McDonald’s employee: “Number 1265!”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry that I asked for 2 separate bags for my 2 separate meals placed as one single order.”

Older & bigger female McDonald’s employee & 42 year old female McDonald’s look at me – frozen by confusion.

Me: “May I trouble you for just one more bag please?”

The older & bigger female McDonald’s employee looks at me as if I told her to empty the till into a bag.

Me: “I understand that you are busy, I can take my additional bag and move along.”

Older & bigger female McDonald’s employee cautiously slides the empty bag over to me and calls out “NUMBER 1266!”

Me: “Excuse me ma’am?”

Older & bigger female McDonald’s employee: “Would you like any ketchup?”

Me: “May I please get 2 medium size cups please?”

The older & bigger female McDonald’s employee takes a good look at the variation in cup sizes; with her finger she counts four and eliminates the 2 sizes at each end of the cup-size spectrum narrowing it down to two, and begins to wonder where the middle is.

Meanwhile the 42 year old female McDonald’s employee counts out 3 medium cups, hands them to me and then violently grabs the 3rd cup as if I was trying to steal it. I turn around and see 2 people turn around and leave.

I’m lovin’ it.