Funny Little Letters That Should Have Been Written



Filed Under : Hollywood Gossip

Hilary Shepherd is a freelance writer and Berkeley Mobile Notary living in Berkeley, CA. She is available for various writing projects including guest blogging and ghost writing. Contact Hilary HERE.

Thank you to my wonderful friend Rhobby for emailing me these hilarious little notes…..

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Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
Sincerely,
Unicorns

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Dear J.K Rowling,
Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends?
Sincerely,
Anonymous

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Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
Sincerely,
Google

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Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Sincerely,
1985

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Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us.
Sincerely,
Jack

PS, you let go

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Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely,
BP

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Dear Saturn,
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Sincerely,
God

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Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely, Stevie Wonder

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Dear Nickleback,
That’s enough.
Sincerely, The World

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Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, Black people

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Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin

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Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely, Parents Everywhere

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Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman

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Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies

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Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely, Alcohol

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Dear Mr. Gump
WTF are you talking about? There’s a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you’re gonna get….
Sincerely, Jenny

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Dear Martin Luther King Jr.
I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream…. What now?
Sincerely,
Leonardo Di Caprio

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Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans

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Dear Snooki,
GET BACK TO WORK!
Sincerely,
Willy Wonka

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Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User

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Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore

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Dear Man,
It’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant

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Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr Pepper

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Dear America,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely,
Canada


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One Response to “Funny Little Letters That Should Have Been Written”
  1. Belinda Says:

    OMG, I LOVE these!! Your friend is brilliant, and must come up with more of these!! Write a book and make a million. It’s a grand idea. As clever as Jimmy Fallon’s “Thank You Notes.”

    ;~)

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