Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd » Funny Emails

Girls’ Night Out And The Cemetery – Joke

Hilary Shepherd — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 22:14:14 +0000

The last time I had a girls’ night out my car was broken into. Good times, good times. Below is a funny email a friend of mine sent me – the same friend, incidentally, that I was with the night my car window was busted and my stereo stolen. I wish our night had been [...]

Girls’ Night Out And The Cemetery – Joke is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

Important Note To Pet Owners – An Open Letter To Dogs And Cats

Hilary Shepherd — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 05:32:53 +0000

Got this from my mom today. Pet owners and non-pet owners alike will get a kick out of it….. The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. [...]

Important Note To Pet Owners – An Open Letter To Dogs And Cats is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

This Is Why You Should Never Lie To Your Mother

Hilary Shepherd — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 01:17:45 +0000

My Grandmother, of all people, sent me the following email forward. Enjoy! Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help but notice how beautiful Brian’s roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian’s Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only [...]

This Is Why You Should Never Lie To Your Mother is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

98-Year-Old Woman Tells Her Bank Where They Can Go

Hilary Shepherd — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 19:22:25 +0000

Here’s a great email I got from my mom this morning. Enjoy! A SENIOR MOMENT – An elderly lady actually wrote this letter to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in The Times and this newspaper thanks him most sincerely. Dear Sir, I am writing to thank you [...]

98-Year-Old Woman Tells Her Bank Where They Can Go is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

The Man And His No-Legs Parrot – Joke

Hilary Shepherd — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 21:51:10 +0000

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, ‘Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?’ The parrot says, ‘I was born this way.. I’m a defective parrot.’ ‘Holy crap,’ the guy replies. ‘You actually [...]

The Man And His No-Legs Parrot – Joke is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

Chocolate Calculator – Chocolate Knows How Old You Really Are

Hilary Shepherd — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 21:52:29 +0000

Now this is just freaky! 2010 is the only year that this will ever work. Be sure to calculated it out as you go. No cheating!! 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10) 2. Multiply this number [...]

Chocolate Calculator – Chocolate Knows How Old You Really Are is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

How’s Your Hot Chocolate?

Oh My How The World Has Changed Since I Was A Kid!

Hilary Shepherd — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 02:26:37 +0000

This is hilarious and sooooooooo true!! LOVE IT! Hope you do too….. If you are 30, or older, you might think this is hilarious! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles [...]

Oh My How The World Has Changed Since I Was A Kid! is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

The Cowboy And The FEMA Genie – Joke

Hilary Shepherd — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 00:27:10 +0000

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He’s crawling through the sand, certain that he is breathing his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls [...]

The Cowboy And The FEMA Genie – Joke is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

What Starts With F And Ends With K – Joke

Hilary Shepherd — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 19:00:15 +0000

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, ‘Harry, what’s your problem?’ Harry answered, ‘I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!’ Ms. Brooks had [...]

What Starts With F And Ends With K – Joke is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

Mermaid Or Whale – Which Would You Rather Be?

Hilary Shepherd — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 01:18:23 +0000

While I cannot vouch for the validity of the following story, it’s cute none the less and needs to be shared. Recently, in a large city in France, a poster featuring a young, thin, tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. The poster read: “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid [...]

Mermaid Or Whale – Which Would You Rather Be? is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

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Getting Older – Laugh And You’ll Never Feel Old

Hilary Shepherd — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 18:59:50 +0000

My Grandmother is going to be 91 this coming Tuesday. I don’t know about her, but I’m pretty excited for it. My two grandfathers each died about a month before their 90th birthdays and my other grandmother made to like 88 or something. Recently my grandmother has been wondering why she’s still around. She says [...]

Getting Older – Laugh And You’ll Never Feel Old is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

You Might Be From California If…..

Hilary Shepherd — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 00:16:54 +0000

My mom sent this to me as an email the other day and I decided it was funny enough to share. So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, it’s California’s turn… 1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible. 2. You make over $300,000 and [...]

You Might Be From California If….. is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

Smallest House In Brooklyn NY Built On Driveway

Hilary Shepherd — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:12:16 +0000

Welcome to the intersection of Avenue T and Van Sicklen in Brooklyn, NY. Just a few doors down is a teeny-tiny house – the smallest one in the borough, as a matter of fact. Located on a lot that used to be a driveway only 7.25 feet wide and 113.67 feet long, the unique house [...]

Smallest House In Brooklyn NY Built On Driveway is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

Student Has Sex, Proves Existence Of Supreme Being

Hilary Shepherd — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 01:51:49 +0000

Please Note: This is an email forward, so if there are any inaccuracies, it’s not my fault. The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why [...]

Student Has Sex, Proves Existence Of Supreme Being is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

This Is Why You Double Check The Address Before You Send An Email

Hilary Shepherd — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 02:15:24 +0000

Please Note: This is an email forward, so if it’s wrong in any way, it’s not my fault. This one is priceless… A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the [...]

This Is Why You Double Check The Address Before You Send An Email is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

Friday Afternoon Funnies – Husbands & Wives

Hilary Shepherd — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 20:27:11 +0000

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.” *** A [...]

Friday Afternoon Funnies – Husbands & Wives is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

The Old Man And His Miraculus Moped – Joke

Hilary Shepherd — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 04:44:48 +0000

Here’s another little something funny my mom sent me….. An elderly man on a moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the doctor’s sleek shiny car and asks, ‘What kind of car ya got there, sonny?’ The doctor replies, ‘A [...]

The Old Man And His Miraculus Moped – Joke is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

The True Story Of The Chip Stealing Seagull.

Hilary Shepherd — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 05:07:57 +0000

I got an email the other day which has been circulating since the end of 2007. I’m sure you’ve gotten it at some point – it’s about a seagull that likes to steal chips. I’m sharing it with you tonight because it’s a great example of how stories can change as they are circulated around [...]

The True Story Of The Chip Stealing Seagull. is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

How Much Snow Could A Snow Shoveler Shovel If A Snow Shoveler Could Shovel Snow?

Hilary Shepherd — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 04:17:21 +0000

Don’t know about where you are, but in my parts, it’s been cold, cold, cold. More so than years past – thanks to the Artic storms that met up in the Artic to create a double Artic storm. My boyfriend was at his cabin in the Sierra Foothills of California last weekend and almost got [...]

How Much Snow Could A Snow Shoveler Shovel If A Snow Shoveler Could Shovel Snow? is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd

And Then The Fight Started – Joke

Hilary Shepherd — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 15:42:57 +0000

Just a little something to help start your week off with a laugh….. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive… so, I took her to a gas station… And then the fight started…. ***** After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social [...]

And Then The Fight Started – Joke is a post from: Hollywood Gossip By Hilary Shepherd