So I was flipping channels a while ago and came across a soccer game. Not one to pass up the opportunity to look at men in shorts with thighs that could crack walnuts, I stopped and watched some of the game. I’m not a total idiot when it comes to soccer, I know the rules and such. And I know that David Beckham is the hottest player out there, even when he’s throwing up on the sidelines. Aside from the several players with long...