And we wonder why our children are turning out the way they are….. These are real notes written by parents…. Spellings have been left intact. •My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him. •Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot. •Dear school: please ecsc’s john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33. •Please excuse... 

• Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi • 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton • 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope • Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1bananosecond • Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram • Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour =Knotfurlong • ... 

One week from today, Thanksgiving will kick off the 2007 Holiday Season. Well, in America anyway, and only if you don’t count Halloween. But other than that, it’s the beginning. Last year I was thankful for plenty. This year, eh, not so much. Oh sure, I appreciate the little things in life, like water and shelter and boring stuff like that. But for the most part, I’m a cranky old lady. I think it’s due to the stupid... 

When I was a kid, we had Earthquake drills. When my parents were children, they had air raid drills. I’ll take an Earthquake over an Air Raid any day, thank you very much. Yesterday I received in the mail some items that my parents found in a trunk that belonged to my maternal grandmother. One of the items made me laugh so hard, I knew I had to share it. AIR RAID INSTRUCTIONS FOR CIVILIANS 1. As soon as the bombs start dropping, run...