A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.” *** A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000... 

Quick doggie update: She’s doing much better and has some of her pep back. The blood test results came in today – they found some stuff in her urine so now I get to have the enviable job of catching my dog’s pee in a cup. Yes, you read that correctly. My boyfriend and I had a little date night tonight (which included walking the dog with me following behind her, to no avail). It was cold but a nice way to break up my normal... 

Just a little something to help start your week off with a laugh….. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive… so, I took her to a gas station… And then the fight started…. ***** After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized... 

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids. “WOW,” the social worker exclaims, “are they all yours?” “Yep they are all mine,” the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, “Sit down Leroy.” All the children rush to find seats. “Well,” says the social worker, “then you must be here to sign up. I’ll need... 

My father used to tell me that it’s just as easy to marry rich as it is to marry poor – you just have to meet the rich. He stopped telling me that a few years ago. Now he just wants me to marry someone. Too bad for him, though; such an event isn’t going to happen any time soon. When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So, one evening he went to... 

Tomorrow is Halloween, which means I have to get my beauty rest so I’m bright and cheery to be dark and dreary. Halloween of Hilary past… A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice,... 

A blonde and a redhead were walking down the street and passed a flower shop where the redhead spotted her boyfriend buying her flowers. She sighed and said, “Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again.” The blonde looked at the redhead quizzically and said, “You don’t like getting flowers from your boyfriend?” The redhead replied, “I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after he...