A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.” *** A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000... 

Quick doggie update: She’s doing much better and has some of her pep back. The blood test results came in today – they found some stuff in her urine so now I get to have the enviable job of catching my dog’s pee in a cup. Yes, you read that correctly. My boyfriend and I had a little date night tonight (which included walking the dog with me following behind her, to no avail). It was cold but a nice way to break up my normal... 

Just a little something to help start your week off with a laugh….. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive… so, I took her to a gas station… And then the fight started…. ***** After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized... 

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids. “WOW,” the social worker exclaims, “are they all yours?” “Yep they are all mine,” the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, “Sit down Leroy.” All the children rush to find seats. “Well,” says the social worker, “then you must be here to sign up. I’ll... 

My father used to tell me that it’s just as easy to marry rich as it is to marry poor – you just have to meet the rich. He stopped telling me that a few years ago. Now he just wants me to marry someone. Too bad for him, though; such an event isn’t going to happen any time soon. When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So, one evening he went to... 

Tomorrow is Halloween, which means I have to get my beauty rest so I’m bright and cheery to be dark and dreary. Halloween of Hilary past… A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice,... 

A blonde and a redhead were walking down the street and passed a flower shop where the redhead spotted her boyfriend buying her flowers. She sighed and said, “Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again.” The blonde looked at the redhead quizzically and said, “You don’t like getting flowers from your boyfriend?” The redhead replied, “I love getting flowers, but he always has expectations after he... 

The next time you see a little old lady with shaky hands, remember this story: A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles the few feet across the store to the counter. Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk, “Dddooo youuuu hhhave dddddiilllldosss?” The clerk, politely trying not to burst... 

HAPPY MONDAY! I had an awesome weekend hanging with my baby nephew, and really don’t want to get back to the daily grind. But, such is life. Here’s a little joke to help start off your week. I’ll be doing a Hollywood Gossip Round Up later this evening, so don’t forget to come back. A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his... 

I have my kickboxing class tonight, and decided that would be a great reason to post this joke that someone emailed to me years ago. Take it from this Mississippi Woman — it’s funny. If you’re from Pennsylvania or Ohio, please don’t be insulted — it’s just a joke. ***** Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had set their new wives straight on their duties. The first man had married a... 

Let me just start off by saying that I always have a lot on my mind and am usually very good about not letting it all get jumbled in my head. But today, not so much. First I wrote myself a note to put on my dashboard to remind me to buy Jell-O after work, and left it at home. Along with my cell phone. Then I dropped my sunglasses when I got to my office, and they broke. They’re from the dollar store, so it’s no real biggie, but... 

Have you ever been picking out fresh broccoli at your local grocery store when you hear the crackle the warns of the mister and you think you have enough time to grab your little green bunch but then the water starts and gets your hand wet? No? Hmm, I must be the only one. I don’t remember those mister things even existing when I was a child. Or maybe I was just never close enough to the vegetables to notice. Here’s a fun chuckle… The... 

THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER Spring Classes for Men REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Monday, May 7, 2007 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS, MAXIMUM. Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays – Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll – Does It Change Itself?... 

Ever get the feeling there are some really dumb people in this world? Well, there are. Caution… They Walk Among Us! *Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: “Free to good home. You want it, you take it.” For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting... 

The following joke is in no way meant to be inappropriate or religiously offensive. Easter is this coming Sunday, so I offer this laugh in the spirit of unity and the knowledge that all religious and moral beliefs aside, we are all human beings and this is the time of year to appreciate life and the earth we all share. A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant. The place was hopping with music and loud... 

Two nicely dressed ladies happen to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man. The second was a well-mannered elderly woman from the South. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children the California woman started by saying, “When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me.” The lady from...