Disclaimer: The following was sent to me as an email forward. If it’s not true or accurate, it’s not my fault. If nothing else, it’s just a fun little thing to read. Well, now……here’s something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn’t history more fun when you know something about... 

Today is Monday and Mondays SUCK!! But as bad as you think your day is going, keep in mind that it could be so much worse. In a hospital’s Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the super natural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around... 

Please Note: This is an email forward, so if there are any inaccuracies, it’s not my fault. The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic... 

Please Note: This is an email forward, so if it’s wrong in any way, it’s not my fault. This one is priceless… A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel... 

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.” *** A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day… 30,000... 

Here’s another little something funny my mom sent me….. An elderly man on a moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light. The old man looks over at the doctor’s sleek shiny car and asks, ‘What kind of car ya got there, sonny?’ The doctor replies, ‘A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!’ ‘That’s a lot of money,’ says the old man. ‘Why does... 

I got an email the other day which has been circulating since the end of 2007. I’m sure you’ve gotten it at some point – it’s about a seagull that likes to steal chips. I’m sharing it with you tonight because it’s a great example of how stories can change as they are circulated around the internet. I assure you that the video is real but the story behind it has gotten a bit tweaked. Here’s the email I got….. A seagull in... 

Don’t know about where you are, but in my parts, it’s been cold, cold, cold. More so than years past – thanks to the Artic storms that met up in the Artic to create a double Artic storm. My boyfriend was at his cabin in the Sierra Foothills of California last weekend and almost got snowed in. It took him five hours to shovel the driveway enough to get out so he could come home. When my friend sent me the following email, I thought... 

Quick doggie update: She’s doing much better and has some of her pep back. The blood test results came in today – they found some stuff in her urine so now I get to have the enviable job of catching my dog’s pee in a cup. Yes, you read that correctly. My boyfriend and I had a little date night tonight (which included walking the dog with me following behind her, to no avail). It was cold but a nice way to break up my normal... 

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? A: Pumpkin Pi. Q: How do you make a witch stew? A: Keep her waiting for hours. Q: How do ghosts begin their letters? A: “Tomb it may concern…” Q: What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his exorcist? A: He was repossessed. Q: What do you call a person who puts rat poison in a person’s Corn Flakes? A:... 

I’ve got some stupid non-Hollywood Gossip things to do tonight, so here are some funny quotes my mom sent me. Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself ‘Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.’ – Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’... 

Just a little something to help start your week off with a laugh….. When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive… so, I took her to a gas station… And then the fight started…. ***** After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized... 

It’s Friday, it’s hot and I’ve had a long week. ‘Nough said. These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. “He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill “A modest little... 

I don’t know about where you’re sitting, but where I’m sitting it’s incredibly hot; over 105 degrees hot. Oh, and all the fires in the Northern California region, are blowing their smoke into the valley in which I live. Needless to say, the air out there is on the verge of being unbreathable. These nasty conditions are making me really tired too. I can’t seem to focus. But I don’t want to leave you with nothing, so here… An... 

A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids. “WOW,” the social worker exclaims, “are they all yours?” “Yep they are all mine,” the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, “Sit down Leroy.” All the children rush to find seats. “Well,” says the social worker, “then you must be here to sign up. I’ll... 

We’ve all heard them – and some of us have even used them. I’m talking about the ever barfable cheesy pick-up line. Thankfully, the only ones I hear these days come from the mouth of my boyfriend; who, I’m happy to say is quite creative with his words. And, thankfully, knows better than to use any of these lines. Rednecks take note, these pick-up lines are right up your trailer park alley: *Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away. *Are... 

No, not the crack that Tatum O’Neal bought and never got to smoke. I’m talking cracked pots. They can tell you a lot about life, actually… An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the... 

My father used to tell me that it’s just as easy to marry rich as it is to marry poor – you just have to meet the rich. He stopped telling me that a few years ago. Now he just wants me to marry someone. Too bad for him, though; such an event isn’t going to happen any time soon. When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So, one evening he went to... 

Below you will find an actual letter from a woman in Austin, TX to Proctor and Gamble, regarding their feminine hygiene products. This letter was PC Magazine’s 2007 editors’ choice for best Webmail-award-winning letter. Dear Mr. Thatcher: I have been a loyal user of your “Always” maxi-pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak-Guard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I’d probably... 

And we wonder why our children are turning out the way they are….. These are real notes written by parents…. Spellings have been left intact. • My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him. • Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot. • Dear school: please ecsc’s john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33. • Please excuse gloria...