The 2008 MTV Video Music Awards were last night. I don’t have cable, however, so I was unable to participate in viewing. If you’re in the same pathetic boat I am, here’s a summary of the night’s apparently lack luster ceremony. ...the show began, Britney spoke like three sentences — that was the entirety of her appearance as a performer, and she did all of it with the microphone hiding half her face from the... 

Poor, poor Britney Spears. There’s nothing quite like being the opening act at the MTV Video Music Awards and clearly not giving a crap. The instant I heard Britney Spears would be opening the 2007 VMAs, I knew it was going to be a train wreck. How could it not? Have you seen what she’s been up to lately? The whole thing sort of reminds me of when Anna Nicole Smith was on the VMAs shortly after she became the TrimSpa spokesperson....